wow! 12:30++ am... i just came from earls 18th birthday party... Happy Birthday Earl! legal ka na!... napa sobra ata inom ko, ive never felt so tipsied in my entire life!... i think the last glass of beer did me in, nahirapan na kong magkeep ng balance after that... ibang klase yung cognac! wow! ang sarap!... i dunno kung malakas yung content pero naubos nung table namin yung isang bottle ng 750 ml... lightheaded pa ko ngayon, so i want to let it pass muna b4 going to sleep...

.... sigh... what a way to spend the weekend... sleeping, and more importantly spending time with my family... slowly, creeping up to me, i realized that i spend more than twelve hours outside of home monday to friday...i sleep away 8 hours which gives me only around 4 hours to do homework and daily stuff... no time at all para makipagkwentuhan at lokohan sa bahay... sobrang hectic ng pace ko in college... everything is passing so fast that its hard to keep up... ang daming sacrifices that i have to make, mostly the time...
i felt bad that friday night ko lang nalaman that my sister (gr. 4) entered an essay writing contest and she won gold medal... ecstatic as i was, may unpleasant feeling sa looob ko, "I didn't even know that sumali sya ng contest, and magaling na pala sya magsulat"... i very proud of my sis though! ako, good in math and sciences... sis, good in the languages... hahaha, wawa naman bro ko, caught in the middle! hahaha...
another thing na yesterday ko lang nalaman... may nililigawan na raw yung bro ko, haha... nahuli ng mom ko na nagtetext in the middle of the night!... haha... sigh... the moments i miss pag wala ako sa bahay... oh well... fun rin naman outside of the house with my friends... trips to blueskies, the big dome, and childsworld! meron ding mga plays... buti pa si God, omnipresent... lahat na-eexperience nya... haha
... now. mga 10:30++ na, sunday... wala pa kong magagawa sa papers ko... maybe tamad ako, but at least nakalabas ako kaninang hapon with my familia... haha...

Sept. 14, 2005 - Wed
... After p6... DOTA! wahahaha!... gumaling na si raven!... talo na ko sa kanya ngayon!... nucking futs!
... cheer rally... ang LAME ng nestle cheer! what a pathetic way for nestle to advertise!... naaawa tuloy ako sa babble coz they have to use the cheer to win the cheerdance competition...
... rizal mini teatro... bayan-bayanan! what can i say, hmmm... the setting was refreshing and interesting coz it was set in Geneva, Switz kala ko kc sa Pinas na naman... hahaha... confused lang ako dun sa breaking glass... i think it is sounded whenever a problem gets more complicated to end it... sow "typically" filipino, putting off the problem and forgetting about it until it's too late to resolve... kaya tuloy namatay si pol, haha... overall, the play was nice and i was entertained for the evening, medyo nag-drag nga lang towards the end but otherwise its ok...
... one more added emotion i felt during the play, i felt quite pleasant tuwing nagsasalita si "Anna Marie" ang ganda kc ng boses niya... wala lang! hahahaha...

Sept. 15, 2005 - Thurs
ADMU vs. DLSU
I realized why people like to go to the big dome to watch the game, watching the cheering wack-o audience is half the fun! grabe! super intense and shouting ng crowds...
20 pts tambak ang admu!... ang sama ng freethrow shooting while ang galing ni JC Intal! ang porma niya!
on the other side... ang galing nina TY Tang & Joseph Yeo! wow! mga basketball monsters! pumapalakpak nga ko tuwing nakaka-shoot sila coz i was soooooow impressed! of course, they're being xavier alumni had nothing to do with it.... hehe

Today
2nd to the last speed area na!... ang bilis naman magpass the semester...
today, i actually spent most of my time interacting with the kids! it was fun to see how these special children cope to live life even with their deficiencies... i truly admire their will to go on and try to improve themselves...

... growl... hirap naman kc ng filipino... nawawala ang jolly mood ko... here i am singing along to "the Chicago story: greatest hits"... napaka-appropriate ng songs sa mood ko ngayon... nowhere near the suicidal tendencies ni calvs, but i'm feelin' down (----> , turned 45 degrees clockwise) ... wow, its such a pathetic attempt to be funny... i'm hoping that typing this blog will help clear things in my head... my cranal cavity is like a halo-halo... nandyan lahat siksik na siksik with stuff, magulo, and with any attempt to sort stuff out, lalong nagiging wasak-wasak... but masarap ang halo-halo, kailangan kong maging optimistic... ito ang magulong buhay na isinusubo ng kamay ng diyos... i dont know kung paano ko mareresolve ang mga challenges na ito... nandyan lang siya in front of me waiting to be touched... here i am on the other side, frozen with fear... fear na i wont be able to present what is expected... damned standards, conventions, ideologies, nakakalimit ito... freedom of choice is dead... im beginning to wonder "if life truly is a product of our choices" or "if choices are the products of situations in life which are intangible by the individual himself"...

"Life is such painful pleasure"

Depression is eminent within me
Thought I don’t feel it, I know that I’ve cracked
It’s a terrible joke played upon by the powers that be
I’m severed, screwed, and apparently sacked

Life is empty, nothing without meaning
I yearn for fun from the days of old
I recognize evil, slowly seeping
But I’ve no strength to struggle out of its hold

Never have I fallen so deep in darkness
I can barely see the way out
Something is restraining me away from goodness
My faith is diminishing and I’m beginning to doubt

"Tell me what man would i be without any meaning" - chicago 19

Aaarggggggghh! Film Viewing kanina sa FAVR
the movie... IMELDA... whoa! mahihirapan ata akong gumawa ng critical paper tungkol sa movie...... the most important thing for her, BEAUTY... ang kapal! she stated that "she represents the typical filipina", bullshit!... "she is a standard, rolemodel, a star,.. to be admired and followed", bullshit!... she strives to be simple?, yeah right!... every good she did had personal gratification attached... she cannot face reality... she may be intelligent, but "may sariling mundo" where everything she does is "good"...
one good thing though, i think she loves ferdi very much... and i admire her for that...

bwahahahaha! nakagawa ako ng paraan para maka-punta ng class gathering kagabi!... it was fun to see all the guys again! hahaha hindi parin sila nagbabago! it felt like good old times! puro kalokohan wahahahaha! it was nice to see sir bums din! nagulat nga ko na he came! hehe drama king forever!....

Sept 8, 2005 - thursday
math lt... third one na... nasasanay na ata ko in taking these tests... nawawala na ang mga kaba and fears... i think i did well, sure na di perfect coz i didn't get a number pero satisfied na ko...
natapos ko na rin yung singles tournament ko in table tennis... 23 wins 5 loses... not bad...

(5++ pm sa seattle's best w/ cam, missy, shaan, and cara)
nakita ko na rin personally si ms. michelle solano... she's a nice lady and grateful ko sa kanya for giving us her time...
it was an enlightening experience... ang dami kong new things na natutunan... some logical, some i had to take her word for it... ang fun din ng mga stories nya... ibang klase!...
after the interview, we spoke some words of gratitude and gave her a nice mango cake... i hope she likes it coz i picked it personally!... haha

ang hirap matutulog! a person's imaginations can go wild if given the chance! haha

Sept 9 - Friday
... free cut sa p6... but still i did not do anything worthwhile... sana nag class na lang kmi... lt kc next week, and ang hirap ng topic... electrostatics!...
walang CW ngayon, wala kasing sumipot! hahaha... nagdotA na lang kami ni raven... grabe ang lakas nung ginamit ni raven si king leoric... ayaw mamatay! immortal ata! hahaha... obviously, i lost...
reading is fun!... i was reading about the way of the samurai kaninang hapon sa libe... wow! such noble and disciplined persons... wish i had such virtues...
4:30 pm Career Seminar
kasama ko sina Calvs and Denise... ang fun... ny! hahaha.... ang daming inspiring stories ni mam bitchiik wahahaha.... she brought a tear or two in my eye... i have come to realize how fragile life is and that it can change in a matter of seconds...

after the seminar... kumain kami sa jollibee... drew's sana after pero puno na... sayang!... so, calvs and i went home na while denise went back to the ateneo to meet up with charmie..

"Anyone can earn a million pesos, but not everyone can have a million memories"

whatta day!..... bagsak sa Lit, and B lang sa p6 LTs..... for some wierd reason, biglang humirap ang buhay ko sa admu.... maybe tinatamad na ko or talagang mabilis ang academic progress sa admu... ang hirap mag-cope!..... konti pang work and im gonna break down in