lulubog muna ako out of existence...

wow! the events these past few days were highly different and was a refreshing change...
it enabled me to escape life for awhile for a chance to rest

overnight in subic
not bad, i was with my family and we went around subic and visited a local beach
i watched a saturday sunset while floating on my sister's salbabida
realizations:

the whole sunset setting reminded me of one person

- beautiful
- glorious
- may warm feeling
- brilliant
- it lights up your day

- temporary
- it leaves and comes back another day
- when it leaves, darkness prevails
- when it leaves, the air is extremely cold
- when it leaves, all that is left in you is nothingness

jeez! ang depressing naman... hopefully, the sun still shines tomorrow

before the trip home
kumain muna kami sa pancake house,
i saw mian! wow! surprise surprise!
it was fun seeing her again! little did i know she was also in subic...

Block outing in punta fuego
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!!!!!! i love my blockmates!!!!
they're the absolute epitome of friendship
what did i do in fuego?
ahahaha
it seems that i dont remember the exact details
pero sleep, swim, drink, and eat lang mostly
drink especially
ahahaha
suuuuuuuuuper fun nung first night namin
inom lang and kanta and doing watever sillyness
sheeeeeeeeeet! ahahahahahhahahahahha!
yun wonderful adobo ni cara
and yun fantastic liempo ni aldric yeah boi!
inuman, ang daming drinks! thanks CK!
yes! yes! yes!
just drinking all night long until hindi ko na kaya
and i remember kia getting all emotional and me kissing sam's foot instead of aldric's
shet, the stupid things i do when im lost in the head

the second day was a little different
charmie and nj came!!!
yes! more girls in bikinis! ahahahahha!
sam's breakfast was great and jc's liempo was fit for a king
swimming naman sa better beach
ang ganda ng sand, pinung-pino
and yun jetski, shet! super rush!
a dilemna came with regina
at first we were kinda irritated and all with regina bringing her track friends to crash our little block outing, but most of them seemed to be nice people... emphasis on the most

but still we drank and drank and drank up ck's little mixtures and concoctions
and ate up a fantastic feast courtesy of ck

the third day (kanina) was a little more hectic coz we had to pack up
sorry for the lunch guys
how was i to know that the chicken was only half cooked
after swimming sa infinity pool
we headed for home
after a stopover in sta. rosa
hinatid ni jc si sam to her place, and we ate dinner there
ang sarap nung mustard chicken, at least hindi na sya inihaw
jc dropped me off sa tomas morata in tempura kung nasan yun dad ko and
proceeded to drop calvs home...

i cant wait for the next block outing! para naman ma-fill up with memorable events tong summer na to...

as i look up upon the pitch black sky
i see the face of an angel meant to
sing me to sleep and make me dream
again

still goin ballistic...
im slowing wilting away the things left to do on my list
and i do mean SLOWLY!
mehn! sana matapos na lahat
but still there are stuff to do
its gonna be a looooooooong week...

fortunate enough to miss out on taking my math and chem exams
concentrate na on the other things left to do
damned fil paper! 8 pages due on thursday di ko sinisimulan
haaaaaaaay nakakatamad.

No, it's not God that completely fills my heart
Somewhere there in the center of emptiness
Somewhere there in the midst of my joys and sorrows
I yearn for the touch of your tender fingers and the
sweet echo of your voice

No, it's not alright. Nothing is alright without your
gracious presence, you who fill the void of my heart
Nothing is ever perfect, for perfection comes only in the
warm caress of your smile
Nothing is ever complete, for without the part of you
nothing else can fit into the barren emptiness of my chest
nothing else can fill this pit of mine with bottomless love

Without you, I am but a mindless corpse
Rising, walking, yearning for a piece of that heart
only to fall again dead still

just got my 4th math lt kanina
got a B, 84%... okei na... that's the highest grade in the class
wawa naman yung ibang mga tao... thank the math department that the lowest LT is cancellable... or else marami atang mahihirapan na makahabol...

nag-libe ako first break
instead of doing the stuff i was supposed to do, i fell asleep again...
then i woke up around 10... something came over me
i was caught up in an inspiring moment
and it had something to do with what abi told me yesterday about
God filling a void in our hearts...
i somewhat disagree
thus i started my latest poem, "to she who fills the void in my heart"
di pa maayos so di pa maganda yun poem but i have a line that states

"without you, i am but a mindless corpse
rising, walking, yearning for a piece of that heart
only to fall again dead still..."

owh!
basketball finals yesterday
i had to play roughly 5 hours of b-ball
mehn! my bod ached last night til this afternoon
sayang! we almost got the championship! unfortunately the other finals team simply outclassed us... galing talaga!

what does it mean to be the usual?
good? bad?... pero masakit ang tama
could it be bland?
boring?
the "usual"?
pre-meditated?
whatever it may possibly mean...
ang sakit pala to be taken for granted...
mehn.. the feeling is not nice, not nice at all...

fine... ignore the flames of a still bright sun
but when the cold stillness of the manmade moon
finally eclipses...
the passion that fuels shall no more be found...

area made my day yesterday
as usual there were some transpo problems but that was part of the fun i guess
upon arriving sa CW i seeked out my favorite kid rina.. at first she was still unresponsive and i had little opportunities to play with her.. but things changed when she moved to the playroom.. she was playing with a rubber ball and in an occasion the ball bounced to me.. aha! chance!.. i used the ball to finally catch her attention, and at long last after several months of trying and initiating, i was playing with her, super duper cutie talaga niya!.. and her smile! each smile is a picture moment!
and the highlight of my day- minutes before we left the last area (mehn!) i asked for a goodbye kiss from rina, then and there i got a smack in the cheek... woohoo! man that made me feel alive! wow! ang saya! sayang last area na...

other stuff
* edith was violated by daryll... ahahaha! and i witnessed it!
* si tina and kabarkada jeff! ahahahahahahahahahaha! dammit! dammit! dammit! ahahhahahahaha! suuuuuuuuuuuper funny ni jeff! he's got it bad for tina! ahahahhahaha!
mehn and the moves! mehn! shet ang funny talaga ng moves ni jeff! words cant simply describe their "bonding" moments! wawa naman si tina! ahahahaha! and yun isang moment! where nag high five sila but when tina's hand touched jeff's, jeff's fingers slowly intertwined with tina's... and yun face ni tina! ahahahhaha! priceless!

kakaiba itong thursday na to...
not quite the usual...
-first
super nahirapan ako sa LT namin sa Math, and i have to admit it's unusual
there were several numbers na sinabi ko sa sarili, "anung gagawin ko rito?"
ang complicated ng mga problems, kailangan pa ng third or fourth level of thinking and concentration... strangely enough, i had a little measure of fun though...
-second
after spending the first half hour sa caf, nag-libe ako... for some reason i had an urge to spend the rest of the time alone in the library...
-third
after PE, nag-libe na naman ako... spent the next hour and a half sleeping/day dreaming...
-and lastly
the noise barrage! before it started medyo kinabahan ako kase first time... i didn't know what to expect... but when it carried on i actually had some fun... para syang pep rally or a party in the streets... i didnt expect that several of my english blockmates would come, they made the experience even better...